Here's To You...Multitasker

A woman at the gym this morning was doing cardio, talking on her cell phone, and eating breakfast...at the same time. It made me realize that I have not been taking full advantage of my workouts. I'm thinking about bringing my laundry tomorrow...or maybe playing some Sudoku.

Meat & Potatoes Kind of Gal

Yesterday was my friend KK's birthday. I won't tell you how old she is - I do not want to die. Let's just say I have a few more years until I'll be celebrating that one. There's something about birthday's that just make me a happy camper.

I spent three hours making these chocolate cake balls on a stick. Martha Stewart I am not. I saw the picture, thought, 'that looks delicious' and decided to waste my entire afternoon burning stuff in the kitchen. What a treat. But I would do anything for a birthday celebration. So instead of giving up like I wanted to, I perserved and made the ugliest looking things I ever had the good fortune of creating. God gives us many gifts, and I need to learn that mine is not baking. Taste great, look hideous. How can you go wrong with chocolate, sugar, butter and cream cheese? Those are my four food groups.

To celebrate her big day, I carried on with a tradition started last year, and made a shirt for Tristan. Since KK was raised Jewish and I was raised Catholic, we love to ruffle eachothers "religious" feathers. I felt I needed to explain so the next sentence doesn't make me sound like a Nazi. Tristan walked in wearing a shirt that said "Roses are Red, Jews are Frugal, I Heard Your Mom, Makes a Mean Noodle Kugel". It was the only thing that rhymed, and I figured it was less threatening coming from a 15 month old. The shirt did also say "Happy Birthday". I'm exploiting my child...that can't be good.

Forgive him...he knows not what he does

They were supposed to look like flowers. Didn't quite work.

We went to a restaurant of her choice to celebrate. Last year we celebrated at a hippie organic vegetarian restaurant in Boulder. I had the pleasure of eating Yak butter, Baba Ganoush, and steamed beets. I was hoping for something different this year. Instead, she told me we were going to eat at a sketchy Indian restaurant. I couldn't wait for my mouth and stomach to turn in to lava.

Buddha was staring me in the face when we walked in, pictures of Nepal covered every square inch of wall space, and fourteen different kinds of incense threatened the stability of my stomach. It was delightful.

She used to be a vegetarian until a few months ago, so now she is being gutsy and trying anything and everything. We had all different kinds of meat hidden in colorful sauces. I. Was. Terrified. I asked someone to pass the sweet potatoes, only to get several odd looks. No potatoes here, just spare animal parts in hot orange sauce. My mistake.

The safest thing I ate was Naan. It was actually delicious, given that it was plain bread. I asked for honey to make it taste like a sopapilla, and was given three discouraging looks from the table and one under the breath remark by the waiter. I asked for coffee. He said they didn't serve it. I asked for tea. He said they didn't serve it. I asked what they do serve, and he walked away. It was not my night. I tried to be brave and sampled a few of the dishes. I spent the rest of the night regretting it. My mouth was on fire for four hours courtesy to one fiery little dish. Needless to say, I left hungry, and $60 poorer.

Thank you for the lovely evening India. It won't soon be forgotten - given that my eyes haven't stopped watering and I still can't taste anything. Let's just hope that next year we get to eat somewhere normal, or this girl is going to pack her own dinner.

Randomness

I just found out they invented a sarcastic symbol that you can now enter into your emails and texts. It's called a sarc mark and costs $2 to buy. A very wise investment (sarc mark). If you can't tell, I'm too cheap to buy it. I am in desperate need of it, but still too cheap. As someone in my life reminds me constantly, 'sarcasm is the lowest form of anger and you should stop using it so much'. Never.

I had my first date today with my son. I paid, of course. We were out and about and needed lunch. I decided we would sit down at a nice restaurant that, coincidentally, serves my favorite meal. It kind of reminded me of my first date with Matt...I told lots of jokes...and he didnt laugh. You know its bad when a 14 month old looks at you like you've lost your marbles. He better get used to it. After conditioning the carpet with a nice layer of juice, saltine crumbs, oranges and cheerios, I'm almost positive we are not invited back. Bummer.

We just got a new bed. We downsized from a California King (which is ginormous) to a Queen. My mattress is entirely too comfortable now. Instead of waking up before the alarm like I used to, I now wake up to a series of panicked questions. My alarm goes off, and I have no idea what day it is, where I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to be doing, or how long I have to do it all in. I spend at least 5 minutes staring accusingly at my alarm clock like it's trying to mess with me. I know it's not her fault, but someone needs to be blamed for this.

I saw an old man driving on the interstate smoking his pipe with a forgotten Venti Starbucks clinging for life to the top of his Cadillac. I tried to take a picture but decided one accident a year was enough for me, and I've already filled my quota.

And thats about it. I feel like this is one of those "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" moments. Only none of my thoughts are deep right now. I'll save that for another time.

Lions & Tigers & Bears...You Know the Rest

Tristan's first trip to the zoo. I think he was more interested in watching the people than the animals. Although if you saw some of the people there that day, you would understand. Is it kosher to wear a shirt with the F bomb clearly printed on it while spending some quality time with your family? Thank you, angry man by the spider monkey's.

We really did have fun though. Tristan loved the tiger's, apes and fish. A few slimy creatures actually came right up to the glass & entertained him for a few minutes. And thank goodness he's too young to realize that the crocodile didn't stare at him because they were buddies, but because it wanted to eat him.

I think I might have enjoyed it more than he did. I was so fascinated with the monkey's that I lost track of time. I listened to a Denver Zoo volunteer explain all about evolution & how we evolved from the large gorilla's who were currently eating the straw they had just slept in and, uh, used for a restroom. In my mind, I had a very clever & intelligent speech prepared against evolution and was going to wow the crowd teaching about GOD and the miracle of creation (thank you to my 2nd grade Sunday School teacher). I was going to stand up for Jesus, and eyes were going to be opened.

Here is actually how my encounter went: I stare at ape's playing in mud, I listen to a nice lady explain evolution, I decide I am an idiot, I keep staring at ape's playing in mud. The "me" in my head is proud of her faith and speaks Truth. The "me" in real life is too afraid to offend. A sad lesson learned that cold day at the zoo.

Here are a few pictures from our family day. And it was so much more enjoyable knowing I didn't pay anything for it. Which was why we went after to a chocolate shop & spent way too much money on things I shouldn't be eating. My excuse? Walking around the zoo works up an appetite... for dark chocolate truffles.

Getting all bundled up

Tell me this doesn't look like an Alfred Hitchcock movie

I wonder if T knows there is a bear behind him

Hello Monkey! Yes, you can come home with me. I will love you forever.

Look out, Tarzan!

This colorful friend has a bird-like beak. Fish freak me out.

Apparently, Tristan is the only one that knows where the camera is at.

And We're Off...

Nothing makes me happier than the word "free"...except sleeping in, chocolate, and hazelnut latte's. Last weekend was free day at the Denver Art Museum. Since I don't have an artistic bone in my body, we let that one go by. When I saw that today was a free day at the Denver Zoo, I didn't care how cold it was going to be - I was going to see some Polar Bears.

Growing up in a family of seven, you learned how to be frugal (which could be the reason I still wash and reuse ziploc bags - that's embarrassing).  I can still remember the moment I knew I could never show my face in Safeway again, after my mom filled three shopping carts full of cereal because they were "having a sale".

Needless to say, I know that when I have the opportunity to see cute little monkeys, penguins, and hippos for free, I will be there. I blame this on the 'cheap' gene I inherited from my family - the burden I have to bare.

And so we're off - in 45 degree weather- to drive an hour to the zoo - to stand in the cold all day - to see animal's stare unhappily at me - to drive an hour back home - because it's free.

PLEASE!!!!!

This is my public plea. Move to Colorado! It misses you SO much. Tristan needs a girlfriend, and a new buddy (since I know you're having a boy). And I miss you terribly. I'm going to feel really stupid if you have a girl, but I blame it on the same poor judgement that told me dating "golf hat" guy was a good idea. And you know who I'm talking about.

I hate how distance get's in the way, but am so blessed that I still have someone so amazing in my life. She also happens to be  the most BEAUTIFUL pregnant woman I know. And she's quite funny. In fact, I'm pretty sure I have added a few new favorite phrases to my vocab after our last phone conversation. Remember that whole post about being easily influenced? I wasn't joking. I now want a Wii...and another baby. Both are expensive and make me really tired. Decisions. Decisions.

Who's in Charge of the Music?

I think the DJ at my gym might have a different idea about what music people like to work out to. My iPOD stopped working, so I had the pleasure* of listening to their music. Do you know how hard it is to do cardio while "Stairway to Heaven" is playing in the background? And that treat lasted for 8 minutes. Congratulations Led Zeppelin...you win the award for longest, most depressing song EVER!

* As my sister and I have recently discussed, we really wish there was a sarcastic font. For now, italics will have to do.  They will probably be used A LOT.